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| The sunset from my bedroom window January 5, 2025 |
The day after the fire is a bit of a blur. I know I spent the entire day in my pajamas. I don’t even remember eating, but I’m sure, if anything, the friend I was staying with would have made sure I did (thank you! 💜) I remember responding to messages from friends and family checking in on me. My roommate and I calling each other back and forth. Following the news and social media trying to track the progress of the fire. Reading the devastating news of places in the area confirmed destroyed. Over all just trying to figure out what to do next.
I didn’t get much sleep the next night either.
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| Satellite photo from the morning of Jan 8 My entire neighborhood is on fire |
January 9th I put on my single change of clothes, and went to the store. On the drive there an alert went off on my phone. I pulled over panicked asking our dance troupe WhatsApp if I need to go back or evacuate. It was a false alarm, and I continued on to the store, even more shaken up.
I was definitely still in shock, and completely overwhelmed trying to shop knowing I had NOTHING. I needed socks. Underwear. T-shirts. Hoodies. Clothes for work. Work shoes. I tired finding some more pajamas but couldn’t find anything nice and warm. I had a single pair of leggings, which I was wearing, but couldn’t find any leggings. At one point I came across a coat on clearance. I kind of liked it, and bought it because I didn’t own a single coat anymore. I’ve never worn it (I have since been gifted several fabulous coats that I have worn).
I came across a hoodie I liked. I tend to like my hoodies in a medium or large because I like them roomy and cozy and easy to layer. They had small, but no medium or large. I don’t know if XXL was the next size available, or I grabbed the wrong one in my dazed state, but I ended up with an XXL (which I still wear). I didn’t even realize it had a cool disco-ball on the back until I got to the register.
Years ago I had to switch over from boot cut pants to skinny jeans because that’s what was in style. Looking for work pants, all I could find were wide leg, so that’s what I ended up with. A coworker was kind enough to order me a couple of pairs of skinny leg pants (Thank you, too!)
I walked past a stuffed pig that I used to have, and got upset.
I realized I didn’t have anywhere to put anything so I went to the luggage section, but got overwhelmed and didn’t get anything.
At some point I got so overwhelmed in general I had to go to the back of an isle and cry.
I was a zombie the entire shopping experience, and I hope I didn’t come off as rude to any employees.
I almost cried again at a second store because they also didn’t have the coffee creamer I used to use, and I just wanted some sort of normalcy.
Overall I spent about $250 that day just buying necessities to get me through the next few days. Work ended up giving any employee displaced, even temporarily, $250. While any little bit helps, I found it ironic that I had spent that much before even knowing I would be getting it. And half it was on very basic things so I could show up for work.
That night my dance troupe had a get together at our troupe leader’s house. We’d all been through so much stress and chaos. We needed to get together; laugh, cry, hug. Everyone showed up with a bag of clothes to give me. And it wasn’t just a bag they had lying around waiting to take to the thrift store. They took the time to think about what I might like, what would fit me, and even gifted me things they knew I used to have. I love and appreciate them all so much.
